Free Coffee Day

Today I'd used enough of my holiday Starbucks gift certificates to get a free coffee. As is my custom, when it is free, I upgrade from my very modest ice coffee to a venti, ultra-espresso'ed vortex of insanity.

Barista: Are you sure you want that much caffeine in one drink?

Me: Let's make sure we understand each other. Upon drinking this, I want to be able to perceive individual streams of time as they spiral through the universe.

Barista: Understood.